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September 24th, 2017


12:00 pm - My tweets
  • Sat, 12:11: me, every time some Joe Schmoe tells a famous person to "stick to [your profession]!" https://t.co/OpO6qfxcGl
  • Sat, 12:20: I get it! It's only OK to be political if you're not famous. Apparently, no one wants to hear ur opinion unless truly no one will hear it.
  • Sun, 10:30: point out US's flaws / need for change, and suddenly you don't love it and should GTFO. America is as bad at taking criticism as I am.
  • Sun, 10:34: Couple next door fighting Her: Don't even act like you have an opinion on this. #marriage

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September 22nd, 2017


12:00 pm - My tweets

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September 20th, 2017


12:00 pm - My tweets
  • Wed, 11:42: "Is it Halloween-time yet?!" - me, mid-September / always

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September 15th, 2017


12:00 pm - My tweets

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September 14th, 2017


12:00 pm - My tweets
  • Wed, 13:09: Any advanced vocabulary I know came from Mariah Carey songs.
  • Wed, 14:16: Now you're just somebody that I used to blow.
  • Wed, 14:19: RT @SomethingPunny: Sausage is the literal wurst.
  • Thu, 09:15: "It's not about gender. Hillary didn't lose b/c she's a woman." -dudes "She lost because not enough women voted for her." -same dudes 🙄

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September 13th, 2017


12:00 pm - My tweets
  • Tue, 14:24: Rule 34: Any and every show/character/movie has been turned into porn... Rule 42(nd Street): ...and a musical!

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September 12th, 2017


12:00 pm - My tweets
  • Mon, 12:10: The 3 Ps of Twitter: politics, puns, and platitudes

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September 11th, 2017


12:00 pm - My tweets
  • Sun, 12:06: #overheardinLA 7yo: "AND it's a Ponzi Scheme!" This kid is already more aware than half my Facebook friends.
  • Sun, 15:22: Want guests to think store-bought cookies are home-baked? * Place in cookie jar * Light candle * Spill flour / raw eggs all over kitchen
  • Mon, 11:57: As we honor the first-responders, victims, & families hurt by 9/11, remember whose actions don't match their words. https://t.co/9LAfpkr9A6

(Suck my cock)

September 9th, 2017


12:00 pm - My tweets

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September 6th, 2017


12:00 pm - My tweets
  • Tue, 12:14: today's shortened headline: Trump Kills the Dream #daca
  • Tue, 13:59: "States ignoring exec orders is against federal law and will be punished!" Perfect example: the Confederacy But keep waving that flag 🙄

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